Numb Girl

To the world she was the numb girl,

With every passing day her existence becoming blur,

Only she knew that inside her;

There was a War, heart against mind,                                        

Battling the tides of emotions that never ceased to rise,

Between sense and senselessness,

Old and new,real and fake,          

She had to choose while awake.

As the maturity dawned,

Twinkle in her eyes was gone;

that child-like smile now faded,

Yet she waded through the same alleyways,hallways,doorways,

everyday every night.            

To keep herself alive in this fight.

Memories of those sunny days,

when her face lit up with every ray, and every raindrop made her play, with mud and paperboats.

Often visited like a distant aunt.

But now she had walked many roads, Bumpy,slopy,smooth cemented  only to be persuaded that nothing is to be resented.

Yet she keeps searching her flair while solitude accompanied her everywhere!

Babita Kathayat Copyright 2017

post

Just a Thought

In the midst of a heap of sand there’s a street dog in deep slumber I approach him daily just to have a look of that kind face which most of my species lack. How perfectely we have learned to adorn ourselves with the fabric of superficiality. My movements disturb his tranquil sleep while he wags his tail I see the hunger in those eyes. His hunger is unlike ours. We could go on to any level to fulfill our needs but this kindly beast knows no such ways. Wind surrounding us was calm and somehow I felt strangulated.I feel it everyday now how we are being consumed by materialism and the dearth of a space where we could be ourselves freely and truly where we could meet people in their truest. Mostly my words remain unuttered and feelings unattended. This prison of unexpressed emotions shall suffocate us sooner or later and I don’t know how they claim that human race is progressing.The pace at which we are recklessly exploiting every possible resource and our overspeeding chase for luxury is only paving the way for the ultimate doom. Life undoubtedly has become easier but the question remains “Are we happy”?Will human race sustain without happiness? These skyrocketing buildings, monstrous vehicles, endless buzzing from ever corner don’t excite me. Every damn thing about modernity is upsetting. There is a greater risk of extinction of values,mutual respect and genuine emotions. I fear that some years down the line we will be no different than those mechanically operated robots.In my lonely moments overwhelmed by such fears,I search for hope in every possible nook and cranny but hope is hard to come by. Forcing a tight-lipped smile on my face before I get lost into the pandemonium of my own thoughts.

Winter Fog

Bit by bit we broke away,

Piece by piece tearing down,

Those streets and corners still beckon me,

Where now only memories live.

Summers of holding hands passing the old town,

Your jokes,my smiles still clutter the junkyard of my mind.

Our beginnings and “first times” are passing into oblivion.

And this Autumn of sufferings seems forever,

Dry leaves under my feet remind me of the butterflies that once flew;

In the garden of my heart where I nurtured the feelings for you.

But I thrust myself not to look back,

Memories may recede as I walk through the winter fog in the hope,

That a fresh gleaming sunrise awaits somewhere.

 

 

Babita Kathayat Copyright 2017

Waiting 

Waiting endlessly,desperately for the day,

When the darkest corners of the heart will be illuminated, 

No more the thoughts will be manipulated, 

When the unending curiosity will die,

And the soul will no more cry.

When the forts of inner calm will be conquered,

And only truth shall prevail.

When the jumbled feelings and unspeakable agony of false anticipations end forever,

And we accept the reality in every flavour.

When the persistent volcanoes of emotions finally subside,

And the sun will rise spreading pure love and light.

Day when you no more hide,

And let the heart break but you shall not shake.

Babita Kathayat Copyright 2017

Dreamer

A dreamer that she was,

Who longed to live limitless,fearless.

Beyond the confines of worldly roles,

Where no man,no land could be her eternal solace.

Her desires were lofty,

To chase skies beyond horizons,

To float in the tropical waters soaking up the warmth of sun,

To wander off into the deserts under a starry night,

To walk those rustic streets where an era seemed to have come to a standstill,

Places where past surpasses future where you could lose track of time,day,year all at once,

Where mountains communicate through the songs of winds,

Where caves tell the stories of an age old survival,

Where there is paradise in wilderness.

She dreamed of exploring such splendours of this world,

Of getting lost in the thrills of those magical lands where nobody knows anybody,

A dreamer once,a recluse now.

With shattered hopes and broken wings,

Thriving the dark and howling winds,

Holding fast to only dreams.

 

 

Babita Kathayat Copyright 2017